The solitary sucker (with nothing better to do than ruin old poems)

Behold her, naked in the field
Yon sexy highland lass
Touching and fingering herself
Stop here, or gently pass.
Alone she soughs and moans again
Intermingling in pleasure and pain
O listen! for even the hound
is ejaculating to the sound!

No prostitute did ever chaunt
more welcome notes to perverted men.
No model did ever flaunt
For free, breasts bigger than a ben.
A body so thrilling ne'er was seen
Amongst beauty pageants and queens
If you so wish, come and linger,
Jerk from a distance, or insert a finger.

Will no one tell me why she sucks
Every cock that comes her way,
And charges not a single buck
For all the wild sex and foreplay?
Or is that, through her vertical chasm
Is the highway to eternal orgasm?
For it cannot be just in vain
That all she does is fuck, and fuck again!

Whate’er the reason, the maiden bangs
All men, who tread upon her field
Within my heart and soul, still hangs
The joys of treachery, that she revealed.
I walked back home, wasted and tired
But content with all that transpired
Her beauty, in my heart I bore
Oh, was she an angel or a whore?

(Parody of WIlliam Bugger Wordsworth's 'The Solitary Reaper')