There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions."
It all started with the starting of Annie Hall. Love had seen us through one year. But now, on this lazy Sunday afternoon, all the silent sufferings and hidden grudges were starting to vent out.
She blamed men.
I blamed periods.
Oh that nerd, whoever he is, is so much like you.
Hmmmn, that’s the best compliment I’ve ever got. I mean, seriously, Woody Allen is like God. He’s the funniest and wittiest guy ever!
MCPs, that’s what you all are!
Members of the corny parliament?
Ha! Male chauvinist pigs! You, that spooky nerd, all of you. Indifferent, reckless, careless, insensitive, jealous and in worse cases even sexists!
Wow, did you just mention sex?
Don’t try to act funny. I’ve been trying to figure out for quite a while now why’s the charm fading away. I thought maybe it’s just me. I’m going through a phase. But now I know. Even Annie went through the same phase. Courtesy your God, Goodie Allen or whatever.
Right! What a wonderful deduction! It was just a movie damn it. Get over it now!
But don’t movies portray reality?
Harry Potter and the sorcerer’s stone surely did!
At least I could relate to whatever Annie went through.
It’s only two characters you’re talking about honey. Let me tell you, Woody Allen is very happily married in real life. To his stepdaughter.
Oh great! What a lovely man. No doubt you worship him. I’m sure, given a chance all guys would do!
I’m bored. And hungry too!
That’s what I’m here for honey, isn’t it? To cater to all your needs and pamper you! To cook for you, to clean for you and….. what not!
Chill dear, I’ll cook. I just mentioned I’m hungry. So tell me lady, what do you wanna have for lunch? Garlic and pepper chicken? Sphagetti and meat balls? Just name it madame, and it shall be served to to you in a platter!
Oh, thank you so much but I’d rather not. You make a big mess in the kitchen whenever you enter there.
I promise to clean up too.
I don’t trust you.
Try me once.
No. I don’t feel like.
We order then, what say?
Do whatever you want to.
What do you wanna have?
I don’t know.
Is that a dish?
*Raised eyebrows*
Sorry, bad joke! Seriously what do you want to have?
Why do you care? Just order for yourself.
Aren’t cha hungry?
I don’t know.
Wow, I give up. I am your sinner. Tell me how do you want to punish me? Just don’t answer indifference. Shall I fetch a whip Madame?
Would you stop bugging me?
*sigh* what is it sweetheart? Why are you angry on me?
Did I say I’m angry? Infact even I don’t know what it is. You please order for yourself. I don’t feel like.
Are you having your periods by any chance?
Don’t copy that bastard’s jokes now. So not funny!
No, seriously? I wasn’t kidding! I swear I wasn’t!
I think it was just last week that I was down. So now you don’t even remember that?
Was I supposed to? I’m sorry I forgot. Then what is it? Why are you behaving so erratic?
I don’t feel the need to answer any of your questions.
Just tell me what have I done? And what do you expect out of me now?
Nothing. Honestly nothing. I have already expected a lot. And I’ve been royally disappointed. Now I don’t have the courage to expect anything more.
Don’t do that to me now. I know I have been careless and insensitive at times. But you know what, you haven’t been to my family. You must meet my brother, once atleast. This problem runs in the genes, And I believe, I’m the least affected one.
Only the male genes I’m sure. That’s where the problem lies. Everything in this world is just a joke for you. Your life, your career, my life, my career, our relationship…everything. And it has all ceased to be funny now.
A joke is only intended to ease all the prevailing tension. I bet we could all do with some extra laughs.
Well, not always. And the problem is not with you trying to be funny. The problem is that you keep creating problems and when I try to tell you how it affects me, you simply make a joke out of it too. And now, if you still pretend not to understand the problem, it’s your problem.
Too many problems to keep track. I’m tired. Just answer me one simple question. Do you still love me?
Yes, I love you. But love is not always everything in life. Right now it’s interfering with the priorities in my life. It’s taking a toll upon me. Honestly I’m tired of losing sleep over these issues.
What are you getting at? You need a break?
I think we’ve already wasted enough time. We need to move on.
Yeah, sure! The bicycle thief or Citizen Kane? You choose!
…………………………………THE END…………………………………………
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