Midnight muse
swirl of smoke
zombies trample over
coffins long sealed
a familiar tune
from long past
plays havoc
with my heart
the last sunset
seems like ages ago
caffeine keeps me warm
this shivering night
the frost on the glass
the familiar sound of rain
the soul feels heavy
the pen seems light
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3 comments:
there!! I found your blog. about this poem, the second and third stanzas form a sentence, two in fact.but the first para is some what disjointed, so is the fourth( they both dont form sentences). While this works for the fourth para, I think it would be sound better if the first para was a sentence. While reading it, the transition between the first and the second seemed rather abrupt. As I said, this works fine for the last para. And I loved "midnight muse"...its so seductive.
Keep writing :)
Ragini
And you didn't believe me when I said that I'm out of muse.....I recognize the weaknesses of the poem but really can't work upon it right now. You could check out the other poems on the blog...Not that they are tightly edited but they are still a tad better than this one!
Thanks for commenting!
whats up with you?
why are you so out of muse anyway?
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